BIG boy

I took my littlest babe to the pediatrician on Wednesday for his 2 month check-up. 2 months already! That sounds so big, like he isn't a teeny tiny baby anymore. Anyways, the pediatrician we seen was an older gentlemen. And by older, I mean older than dirt. He was probably closing in on 80. He gave me lots of outdated advice, like to retract my son's foreskin, to feed my 8 week old cereal, and to drink some wine before bed (in the hopes that it will sedate my wakeful babe). Old people! They are so crazy.

So, the wee little babe is 14 pounds! I knew he was starting to look like the classic chubby baby, but I had no idea that he had basically doubled his birth weight! My boobs are amazing, milk making machines. I think my overabundant milk supply is the source of my mastitis problems. I often wake up so engorged that I HAVE to pump. I know that this is only making the milk problem worse, but I can't walk around with bowling balls on my chest all day.

Guppy is doing great. In the past few weeks, I have noticed a definite increase in his awareness. He stares at people. He coos. He smiles (but very rarely). His little personality is already forming, and it is amazing to watch him change and grow. I just love that little babe so freaking much. I want to cuddle him and kiss him and nibble his chubby cheeks all day.

4 weeks!

Somebody is 4 weeks old today! He eats! He sleeps! He poops (a lot)!

I was looking through my pictures, and I realized that I didn't have any pictures of Guppy with his eyes open. So, I decided to take a picture of him with his precious little eyes open. Upon trying to take this picture, I realized why I don't have any pictures of him with his eyes open. Newborns don't follow directions very well.

Take # 1

Take # 2

Take # 3

Take # 4

Please excuse the blurry pictures. It was night and my crappy camera sucks in low lighting.

Anyways, Guppy is doing great. We are so happy that he is a part of our lives. Can't wait to see what the next month will bring!

My grunty boy

The grunting and straining all night routine continues. My little guy is so gassy at night. I know that I am incredibly lucky, because he doesn't really cry. He just fusses and squirms and makes lots of strange noises. We have been going to bed really early (sometime between 8pm and 9pm), so that even though he wakes me up 549 times per night, at least I am in bed for a solid 10 hours. That helps (a little). For a few days, I kind of went off the deep end and was obsessed with this issue. But then I read my dear friend Eva's blog post about her new baby. She commented that she was going to go cuddle her son, because "he'll never be four days old ago." That made me reevaluate the situation. This gassiness is temporary. Guppy will never be 3 weeks old again. I just need to enjoy him - grunty noises and all.

Pictures of our little Guppy

My baby boy is so cute and little. I could just eat him up! Porgie is also smitten with our newest creation. She plays with him on his mat every morning. She begs me to wake him up from his naps. She kisses and hugs him endlessly. Izzy is also obsessed with Guppy. He is very touchy feely with him, which freaks me out. He loves to rub Guppy's little head. Honestly, I was worried about how the kids would respond to the new baby. So far, so good!

The newest babe

Guppy arrived Thursday (8/18/2011) at 8am via c-section. He weighed 7lbs 8oz and he was 19 inches long. My smallest babe. My little runt:) The surgery went smoothly, and the baby was perfectly healthy. The whole affair was largely uneventful, and everything went according to plan. We were discharged from the hospital on Sunday afternoon and have been home resting and recuperating ever since.

My little guy is perfect in every way, and we love him to pieces! Guppy is now 8 days old, and we are both doing great. He had his first doctor's appointment yesterday. He looks teeny tiny to me, so I was a little worried that he might not have regained his birth weight. But he did! He weighed in at 8lbs 2oz. Yippee!

Nursing has been going great. Actually, it has been going a little too great at night. My baby boy woke up 4 times to nurse last night. It felt like every time I laid my head down on the pillow, Guppy was fussing and rooting around. Otherwise, he has been pretty mellow. He sleeps a lot. He also poops a lot. He likes to be held and touched and kissed, so we oblige and give him lots of love.

I couldn't be happier. Seriously! I am so in love with this little guy...




In other news, we had an Earthquake on Tuesday. What the fuck? It was so bizarre and kind of scary. And now we have a hurricane bearing down on us. AWESOME. My husband is busy storing water and food in the basement. He seems to be convinced that something bad is going to happen. I hope he is wrong.

Well, I seem to have very little time for blogging lately. I just want to soak up every minute with my little family. I know things will change when John goes back to work, and I'll be eager to chat with my internet buddies. Until then, blogging will be light over here in Cakerwakerville.

39 weeks 6 days

Nesting is for the birds

Since this is my third time around, very little has surprised me with this pregnancy. Severe constipation? Totally expected. Excruciating hip pain? Not surprised. Leaking urine? Happens every time. The thing that has caught me off guard is "nesting." I have never experienced this phenomenon before. I kind of thought it was just a made-up problem that pregnant women liked to complain about. Although I had heard other people talk about it, I had never actually felt any overwhelming urge to clean or organize my house during pregnancy - until now. And I have to say, it kind of sucks.

For the past few weeks, I have felt this constant nagging urge to get my house in near perfect condition. Everything I have been putting off for years, is suddenly very important to me. Every closet in my house is organized. My windows have been windexed. My bedroom (clutter central in my house) is spotless and clutter free. The food cupboard is organized, with all of my spices neatly lined up. I have dusted every ceiling fan and every picture frame. I have donated bags of clothes, purses, toys, and housewares.

All of this cleaning is exhausting, and that damn nagging urge NEVER GOES AWAY. Every time I finish a task, I think of something else that needs to be done. And I keep thinking of new tasks for John too. Last night, right after he arrived home from work, I made him hang new hooks in our coat closet. Why? Because I want Porgie and Izzy to be able to hang up their own coats this fall. Yes, jacket weather is months away, but this task must be completed before the baby arrives! It is urgent! I realize that I am being insane, but I can't stop these crazy impulses, so John has to suffer with me.

This is our last weekend has a family of four, and although I would love to spend it with my lovely little family, I know that this isn't going to happen. I already have an insanely long list of chores for John and myself to complete. Maybe I'll be able to rest at the beginning of next week? Fat chance.

Monday's appointment

Monday's appointment with the OB went much smoother. We were stuck in the waiting room FOREVER, but the doctor made no mention of my small measurement. He simply listened to the baby's heartbeat, asked if I had any questions, and then sent us off. It was glorious! I only have one more appointment before the BIG day, which is just mind blowing. At the most, we are only 8 days away from meeting this baby. EIGHT DAYS! WOW!

I am not sure if I mentioned this before, but we are having a scheduled c-section. After like 20 hours of labor, I had an emergency c-section with Porgie. The OB convinced me to have another c-section with Izzy, which probably would have happened even if I tried a VBAC. Izzy was born 9lbs 8oz at 39 weeks. Can you imagine how big he would have been if I have gone 40+ weeks? At my first visit, I inquired about a VBAC with this baby, but they said it was policy that after 2 c-sections, you are always a c-section. I thought I would be upset, but honestly, I don't really care. I just want a healthy little baby in my arms. How he/she gets here really doesn't matter to me anymore. Yes, the recovery is harder, but I know what to expect. There is comfort in that, and it gives me a sense of peace regarding the whole process.

The only thing that has been bothering me is my time in the recovery area. When I had Porgie, they gave her to us immediately. My first attempts at breastfeeding were in the recovery area right after my c-section. I thought they would do the same with Izzy, but instead they rushed him off to the nursery. I didn't get to see him for an hour or two after his birth, and when they finally brought him to my room, they informed me that they had given him a bottle of formula - WITHOUT PERMISSION. Instead of being overjoyed with my new baby, I was angry with the hospital staff. I don't want that to happen this time. I have told John that if they take this baby away right after delivery, that he has to stay with the baby the entire time. He cannot, under any circumstances, come back to visit with me. He has also been told to refuse all bottles and to constantly harass the nurses to bring me my baby! I intend to talk to the doctors and nurses before my surgery, because I have a few other requests too. Basically, I plan on being the biggest pain in the ass.

So, I am still pregnant and hope to stay that way for a little while longer. Since I scheduled the c-section for my actual due date, I REALLY need to make it to 40 weeks. Keep your fingers crossed that I can make it 8 more days.

Doctors worry too much!

Monday I had my 37 week check-up. I decided to schedule the appointment in the morning and to take both kids with me. I thought we would go in, listen to the heartbeat, and be on our merry way. Instead, we spent nearly 2 hours at my doctor's office.

Remember when I told you that my belly has measured small throughout this pregnancy? Well, the people around me kept mentioning that I was "so small!" at 20 weeks, yet the baby measured completely normal. By 24 weeks my doctor also joined in on the fun, declaring that I was several weeks behind on my belly measurements. The doctor continued to fret when my measurements stayed behind week after week. I was scheduled for a growth scan at 32 weeks to check on the baby. Once again, the baby's measurements were perfectly normal. At 36 weeks, the doctor tried to convince me to do another growth scan, but I declined her offer. Why is everyone so obsessed with the size of my belly? The baby appears to be completely fine. I just felt like it would be a waste of everyone's time.

At 36 weeks, I measured 34 weeks. I've been 2 to 3 weeks behind for a while now, so I was largely unconcerned. On Monday (at 37 weeks 4 days), I measured 32 weeks. What the hell? How did I get smaller? I was baffled. My doctor looked panicked. She told me that I needed an ultrasound right away. She was afraid that my amniotic fluid was dangerously low. They rushed me (and my two children) back to the ultrasound room. I felt sorry for the poor girl who was supposed to go next, but they insisted that I didn't have time to make an appointment for another day. Although the doctor seemed very concerned, I still felt like they were making a big deal out of nothing.

30 minutes later we learned that the baby appears to be in the 70th percentile (!) for growth and that my amniotic fluid was on the low end of normal. Not dangerously low, but also not abundant. But because my amniotic fluid was on the low end of normal, I am afraid they are going to want to do another ultrasound next week to recheck the fluid levels. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I want to make sure the baby is healthy, but I feel like the doctors are trying to find a problem to justify my small measurements. I honestly don't think there is a problem. My belly has consistently measured small, yet the baby has always measured normal. That is just the way this pregnancy has progressed and there is nothing anyone can do to change it. I feel like if they go searching for problems, they are eventually going to find some reason to make me go to the hospital early. And I don't want to have this baby early.

It is all very frustrating and overwhelming. I want the baby to be healthy, but I also want him/her to be fully cooked and ready for life on the outside. I would also like for my mother to be here to watch Porgie and Izzy, so that I can have a less stressful hospital stay. So, this baby needs to stay put for a few more weeks. I've been drinking water like it is going out of style, hoping that my amniotic fluid levels will be higher next week. I am seeing a different doctor on Monday, and I have my fingers crossed that he will have a more laid back approach to this problem.

I know I am not HUGE, but I don't think I look tiny either. I am actually pretty happy with my cute little baby belly. Here is me at 38 weeks...

I think I broke my hip.

I love being pregnant. Honestly and truly, I do. But I am going to complain about something pregnancy related. For me, it is by far the WORST part of being pregnant. I am talking about pelvic/hip pain. I have entered the phase where all movement of my hips is excruciatingly painful. And hips are kind of important for things like WALKING and SITTING.

This is a problem I experienced with all three of my pregnancies. My hips hurt at the very end of my pregnancy with Porgie, nothing overly painful - just an annoyance. With Izzy, the pain started early (like around 20 weeks). By the end, the pain was pretty bad. I remember having trouble lifting my leg to get into my van. I was overweight when I got pregnant with him, so I accredited my wacky hip problems to being fat. But this time? Well, I was completely fine until about 2 weeks ago. Then suddenly my hip/pelvic area ached a lot at night. I found myself waking up in pain every few hours and having to find a new position to sleep in. This past week, the pain has been overwhelming. It hurts to walk. It hurts to sit. It hurts to get dressed. It hurts to get in my van. It hurts to roll over in bed. I am in pain pretty much ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I have to waddle at a snail's pace to keep my pelvis happy. And even then, I am always aware of a soreness in that region. It kind of feels like someone has kicked me in the pelvic area about 100 times. The really bizarre part is that I often hear a popping sound when I attempt to move my hips. It is almost like my bone is popping back into place. And I am not fat this time, so I know that I didn't inadvertently create the problem.

I complained to the OB, but she wasn't very helpful. She just told me how my joints are loosening up in preparation for delivery. I know the physical reason behind this problem, I just don't understand why the pain is so intense with this baby. I have been sleeping with a pillow between my legs, but it isn't helping at all. At this rate, I am fairly confident that I won't be able to walk by the time I reach 40 weeks.

Any advice or suggestions?

Getting stuff done, so I can enjoy other stuff

I did it! I have a freezer nearly packed with frozen meals. I still haven't made the trays of lasagna, but everything else is prepared and in the freezer. I am feeling really good about this accomplishment. Actually, I feel like I have gotten lots of crap done lately - just little things that make me feel better and more prepared for the upcoming birth of our baby.

1. I finally bought some newborn diapers and wipes. And I had coupons!
2. I threw out all the plastic BPA bottles I had stashed away in the closet and bought 3 glass bottles to replace them. I intend to breastfeed again, so I think 3 bottles is more than enough. I do plan on pumping and freezing some milk because I will most likely be having oral surgery at the end of the year.
3. Izzy broke our umbrella stroller last weekend. I went on Craigslist and found an $80 Chicco stroller for $30. We picked it up last night, and I REALLY like it. Much nicer than my $5 Kolcraft umbrella stroller.
4. John cleaned up the basement, and now we have easy access to all our baby gear.
5. I purchased two homecoming outfits - one for a girl and one for a boy. SO STINKING CUTE!
6. I am planning a special "kid's day" celebration for the first weekend in August. This day is going to be devoted entirely to Porgie and Izzy. There is going to be presents, candy, a trip to the natural history museum, and dinner at their favorite restaurant. One last hoorah with my babies before the new baby is born.

Sure, I still have lots more to do, but I feel prepared and ready. This baby will be born in less than a month! It is mind blowing how quickly this pregnancy has passed. It is summer time and unbearably hot here in NJ, but I still love being pregnant. I wish I could freeze time, so that I could enjoy this stage a little longer. I know this last month is going to zip by in the blink of an eye. I plan to spend the last few weeks cherishing these moments with my unborn baby and my family. Because this time next month, we will have a completely different life - a new person to love, new routines to adjust to, and new sleep habits to complain about (AKA no sleep for mommy). I just want to soak up every last moment of this pregnancy.

I am stressed out

Picking a new health insurance plan the month before your due date is extremely hard. The new plan goes into effect two weeks before I will deliver, so it is extremely important that we pick the right plan. I have been researching and stressing out about every detail of the new plan options. My husband, on the other hand, seems to have completely forgotten about the health insurance. He just wants to go with the cheapest plan and forget about it. I wish I was so naive and carefree.

John's employer hasn't given us much of an option. We basically have two plans to choose from - a PPO with incredibly high premiums or a cheap HSA plan with an incredibly high deductible. Financially, we are going to get screwed either way we go, so I guess I shouldn't be so stressed about it. The part that has me all worked up is that maternity benefits aren't listed in the description of the plans. I am confident that the PPO covers maternity, but I am not so sure about the high deductible plan. I have made my husband email the woman who is in charge of insurance for his company, but she can't seem to comprehend my request. It is actually very simple - I just want something from the insurance company stating the maternity benefits for each plan. But instead, she just keeps emailing my husband to say that maternity benefits are covered. She seems like a nice lady and all, but I want something from the INSURANCE COMPANY. I have been screwed over by health insurance companies too many time to accept a generic statement from a woman in the HR department.

In other news, I am growing! Holy crap, I gained 8 pounds in the last two weeks! I don't know how that is even possible, but my scale keeps insisting that I have gained all that weight. Ugh. I am trying not to stress about it too much, but I really don't understand how I gained that much. I have been eating the same as every other week. I know I have some swelling issues, but I hardly think I am retaining that much water.

I hate hate HATE that I am stressing about my weight. This is my last pregnancy, and I want to enjoy it. My weight has always gone up and down, so if I gain too much with this baby, it is not the end of the world for me. I can lose it. I know that I can. But for some reason, I wake up and weigh myself every morning. It is a sickness, but I can't stop.

Here is a picture of me at 34 weeks 5 days...And just for fun, here is a picture of my lopsided legs. I have lots of swelling on the right side of my body ONLY. Isn't that weird?

The third child

My mother had three children. I was the oldest, and I was also the only one with a completed baby book. I understand, because the more kids you have, the less time you have. Even though time is tight, I want all of my kids to have a scrapbook dedicated to their first year.

Yesterday I went to the craft store to purchase an album for the new baby. I picked out the perfect scrapbook. Then I came home and tried to find my 20 week ultrasound pictures. I have no freaking idea where I put those pictures. I have searched every possible place I can think of. They are lost, and who knows when or where they'll turn up.

Poor third baby.

Something I've been fretting over

If you've followed my blog from the beginning, you know that John and I make big babies. Porgie was 8 lb 4oz at 40 weeks. Izzy was 9lb 6oz at 39 weeks. With both pregnancies, I had pregnancy induced hypertension, but thankfully it never developed into anything more serious. Because of my high blood pressure, I had extra growth scans. According to my doctor, my babies were at a higher risk for growth restriction. Obviously my ginormous children never suffered any ill effects from my wacky blood pressure.

Before getting pregnant with this baby, I lost about 40 pounds. I started out at a fantastic weight. My blood pressure has been perfect the entire pregnancy. But oddly enough, my doctor seemed to think that my baby might be small. At my 24 week visit, my belly was measuring a week behind. At my 28 week visit, my belly was measuring a full 3 weeks behind. So, they scheduled me for another growth scan.

At first, I didn't really think much of it. I mentioned it to a few good friends, but I tried not to make the information into a big deal. But everyone I encountered seemed to mention that my stomach was "SO TINY!!!" I guess people thought I'd appreciate their comments on my small size, but instead they just made me nervous. Honestly, I haven't felt "tiny" in a long time. At this point, I feel large and cumbersome (like all third trimester mommies). Also, the baby gives me nice big kicks, which also don't feel like they are being made by a tiny creature. But regardless, all of these outside comments on the size of my belly slowly crept into my neurotic brain. I often found myself lying awake at night thinking about it.

My growth scan was this afternoon, and honestly, I was more than a little scared. But all that worrying was for NOTHING, because my baby is in the 54th percentile for growth. Totally and completely normal. Not too big, not too small, but just right. I am thinking that instead of having another large baby, I am going to have a nice average-sized bundle of joy. And I am completely fine with that.

Now maybe I can get a little sleep.

P.S. The ultrasound was painful. PAINFUL. Apparently the baby's head was at a weird angle, so the tech decided to apply a ton of pressure to her little wand. I am fairly certain that she fucked up some of my ligaments or something, because since leaving the office, every time the baby moves my lower abdomen hurts. And for all my pain and suffering, I received two completely vague and unrecognizable photos. Awesome.

Busy little bee

I have been in overdrive lately. It is not nesting per se, but just a lot of crap I have been putting off for months. Everything is catching up with me, and I really need to start making some progress before the new baby arrives. I have complied a list of chores for myself and for John. The amount of stuff we need to do is overwhelming.

Tuesday I got a wild hair up my ass and decided that I was going to get shit done. And in true Christy fashion, I completely overdid it. I ran myself to the point of exhaustion. I was on my feet all day. By 4:00pm, while making dinner, I got dizzy. So dizzy that I thought I was going to pass out. My body was screaming for rest. After laying down for about 30 minutes, I felt much better. Then John came home from work and took the kids to the library while I lounged on the couch eating chocolate covered raisins. WHAT? Developing babies needs chocolate. It is a scientific fact!

Yesterday was another busy day, but I made sure to sit down occasionally. It is amazing how a little thing like taking 30 minutes to sit on the couch, can completely change how I feel. Today I have been working on "organizing" Porgie and Izzy's closet. I use the term "organize" loosely, because really I have just been stacking crap on the top shelf. But that is better than having all of the crap (blankets, Halloween costumes, stuffed animals, etc.) stacked on top of the dressers. I am truly amazed by how much stuff we have crammed into this tiny house. I give bags of stuff to the Goodwill monthly, but I still can't seem to stay on top of it.

Tomorrow I have to go pick out a Father's Day present for John, so it should be an easy morning. But this weekend? So much crap to do!

Details

For the past year, John and I have debated whether or not to have more children. Although I acted indifferent about the whole subject, I really REALLY wanted another baby. But I tend to worry about stupid things, like the size of our dinning room table and sleeping arrangements. I somehow turn all of these goofy little issues into BIG HUGE problems, which prevent me from taking action and making decisions. I am insane.

After talking about it for months, John and I started trying for baby # 3 in late October. I found out I was pregnant in December (right before our trip to Kentucky). I went to the OB and had every thing confirmed mid-January. Then the first trimester woes really kicked in, and I wasn't feeling too great. I wasn't nauseous this time around, but I was moody and tired 99% of the time. Everything felt overwhelming and exhausting - cooking dinner, playing with my children, blogging, getting dressed. I was pathetic, hence the reason for my writing hiatus.

I am due mid-August, so that makes me 30 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy has flown by at lightning quick speed, and I can hardly believe that I am so close to the end already. I am trying to savor the whole experience, because this will most likely be our last baby. Some days I sit on the couch for hours with my hands on my belly, feeling my little one kick and squirm around. Knowing that I might never experience it again is heartbreaking.

This time around we decided not to find out the sex of the baby. We have everything for a girl and everything for a boy, so we are well prepared in the clothes department. I didn't give away any of my baby stuff (exersaucer, swing, bouncy seat, etc), so we don't really have to invest any money in baby gear. The main thing I needed was a stroller (I sold my single stroller and bought a double stroller when Izzy was born). But my mother came to the rescue and bought me a Graco snap-n-go stroller. Really, I just need to buy some diapers and wipes, and we should be set!

I am, without a doubt, one of the luckiest people in the world. I feel so blessed to be able to have another baby. I can't wait to hold my sweet little babe in my arms. I can't wait to nurse my little one to sleep. I can't wait to experience the miracle of meeting this new little person that John and I created.

Hello world

Remember me? I am that crazy woman who blogged constantly and then just fell off the face of the earth. I almost gave up blogging completely. My heart just wasn't in it anymore. Instead of being a calm and peaceful retreat, this online journal became an annoying and tedious chore. But try as I might, I just can't seem to say goodbye.

For months now, I have felt guilty about my lack of blogging. Honestly, I consider many of my readers friends. I know that some of you were worried about me and my family, so I just wanted to let everyone know that we are fine. Actually, we're better than fine. We're GREAT!

Lots has happened since we last talked. It is hard to put it all into words, so instead I'll let you take a sneak peek...