Pooping charts

I often take pride in the things my children know how to do. Not because I think they are genius babies, but because I think I have awesome parenting skills. I am a total narcissist. However, my children have been teaching me (slowly) that individual personality often plays a much bigger role than my fabulous parenting skills.

I started potty training both of my children in January. My nearly 4 year old daughter is still wearing a diaper. My two year old is completely potty trained. He doesn't even pee in his diaper at night. Although I would like to take credit for his mad potty skillz, I cannot. He just decided that he wanted to wear underwear one day, and he has never looked back. He actually cries when I make him wear a diaper during bedtime. I am baffled, because I have no idea how to potty train my wayward daughter. The girl loves sitting in her own waste.
At this rate, my daughter is going to be shitting in her pants FOREVER. And I certainly don't take any pride in that.

I have no balls

I haven't mentioned it in a while, but Izzy is still seeing his GI doctor on a regular basis. I largely think that she is an ineffective doctor, but I take him to the check-ups anyways. Without fail, I am always disappointed when I leave her office. To illustrate this point, I am going to highlight details from our last visit.

Our appointment was scheduled for 2:45pm on Thursday. This was an awful time, because it was in the middle of Izzy's afternoon nap. He had only been asleep for a mere 30 minutes before we had to leave for our appointment. We arrived on time, but had to wait 30 minutes before being called back. I was angry. Why did I have to ruin our routine to accommodate her schedule?

When we were finally called back, the doctor asked me which formula I was feeding Izzy. I informed her that I was still breastfeeding. She looked at me like I had 3 heads, and asked me when I planned on weaning. I informed her that I had no intentions of weaning anytime soon. But she kept pressing for a weaning date. Finally, feeling frustrated, I told her I was going to nurse until his second birthday. She basically told me that breastfeeding wasn't beneficial after the 1st year. Why does she care if I continue to breastfeed my baby? I understand that it makes her job harder, but shouldn't she be encouraging my efforts?

Apparently, I also need to feed him whole milk instead of soy milk, he needs to eat more green vegetables, and he should be sleeping through the night. AHHHHH! This woman drives me INSANE.

At the end of the appointment, I told her that I didn't think Izzy was benefiting from these visits. However, she insisted that he come back in 3 months. And because I am a wussy, I made another appointment. What is wrong with me?

Let's talk about poop

Izzy had another appointment with the GI doctor this week. It appears that my little guy's digestive tract is finally maturing. His stool sample was perfect. I feel so relieved knowing that his little tummy feels better.

The bad part is that we have achieved this amazing feat by eliminating dairy, eggs, soy, nuts, and citrus fruits from my diet. According to the doctor, most babies outgrow food sensitives by 9 months of age. Now that Izzy is 8 months old, the doctor would like for me to start adding these foods back to my diet. I am following the doctor's orders and adding citrus fruits back to my diet first. I plan on buying some limeade this weekend. Mmmm...limeade.If all goes well, I will add nuts in two weeks, soy in four weeks, eggs in six weeks, and dairy in eight weeks. In two short months, I could possibly be eating like a normal person again. This is great, except for the fact that I am probably going to gain 20 pounds in the process. Do you know how bad I want ice cream? And cheese? I would give my left eye for a calzone and a bowl of Chunky Monkey.

Baby Izzy

Izzy will be 6 months old on Friday. Although it feels like he has been in my life forever, I am still shocked at how quickly he is growing and changing. He seems to be forever etched in my mind as a newborn.

This past weekend, Izzy sprouted two new teeth! The only thing that sinks about this situation, is that I now have two children who are teething. Porgie only has 4 more molars to cut, and I think she is working on a few of these as we speak.

Last week we started Izzy on rice cereal. He really seemed indifferent to the whole thing. A few days later, John decided to give him some sweet peas. He really seemed indifferent to the peas too. However, the introduction of solids has really thickened Izzy's poo. I am pretty excited about that.

Speaking of poo, the GI doctor called last week with the results of Izzy's latest round of stool testing. His poo is no longer acidic, but he is spilling even MORE sugars. I was very frustrated when I got the results. I have eliminated dairy, eggs, soy, peanuts, citrus fruits, and tomatoes from my diet, yet he is still allergic to something in my diet. AHHHHH! This guessing game drives me INSANE. But, I will continue eliminating foods, and we will continue the testing.

I think some of you misunderstood me in my last post on sleep. We are not using the cry-it-out method with Izzy yet. I respond to him every time he cries at night. EVERY TIME. I was just saying that if he doesn't fall back to sleep after nursing or rocking, I am putting him in his crib. 99% of the time, he falls asleep while nursing. He has only cried one time, and it only lasted for 20 to 30 minues. Trust me, this is a far cry from CIO.

So, that is the latest with Izzy Whizzy Woo.

Stream of Consciousness: Part 12

My babies are sick. I am drowning in snot and vomit. HELP!!!
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I went to see the doctor about my gallstones last Friday. I will be having surgery on Monday. I am a little nervous about the anesthesia, but I am sure everything will so smoothly. They are using a laparoscopic procedure, so I should be back to normal in about 5 days. Sounds easy enough.
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To prepare for the surgery, I have been pumping like a mad woman. Despite all of my efforts, I have only managed to freeze about 12 ounces of milk. I am hoping to have at least 24 ounces for the day of the surgery, but I think I am going to buy a small can of formula just in case. I am really upset about this, and I am not sure way.
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I took Izzy to the GI doctor last Wednesday. His stools are still acidic, and he is still spilling sugars. Grrrrr. I am pretty frustrated, because I have been working really hard to eliminate soy, eggs, dairy, citrus, and peanuts from my diet.
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I have almost finished crocheting the gifts I promised to make for my blogger friends. I'll post pictures when I am finished.

I really enjoy crocheting, and I find it to be somewhat relaxing. I am thinking about offering to make baby blankets for a little extra cash flow. But that sounds like a lot of work, so I probably won't. Have I mentioned that I am LAZY?
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And here are some photos for little old you...

Spaghetti sauce girl

Mmmmm... Cloth tastes sooo good.

My babies on a bench.

We are falling apart

I received a call from my doctor today. He had the results from my blood work. My liver enzymes are elevated again. I am becoming more and more convinced that my gallbladder is broken. Hopefully, he'll have the ultrasound results by Monday.

Porgie is going to see a cardiologist next month to check her heart murmur. Before we go, Porgie needs to have chest x-rays performed. I am fairly confident that Porgie is going to flip out. Needless to say, we are not looking forward to this experience.

Izzy needs to have another stool sample taken. However, Izzy's poop is so runny that it absorbs into his diaper before I can scoop it out. Any suggestions or advice? The doctor recommended lining his diaper with saran wrap, but that sounds a little messy.

On a positive note, John is feeling fine. But who cares about John?

** John just told me that he is going to be out of town all next week.

Stool testing results

The GI doctor called this evening with Izzy's stool sample results. His stools are highly acidic, and contain 3+ mg of sugars. According to the doctor, this indicates that Izzy definitely has an intolerance to something I am eating - most likely dairy.

She is using the first stool sample result as a baseline. I am supposed to completely eliminate soy, dairy, citrus, and peanuts (which I've been doing for the past two weeks), and then take in a new stool sample to have it analyzed.

Although I expected her to call with bad news, I was hopeful that his stools would come back normal.

The day from HELL

We left the house at 2:00 pm. I lugged Porgie and Izzy down the front steps and loaded them into the car. I quickly got into the driver's seat and buckled my seatbelt. I glanced back at Porgie and realized that I had forgotten her cup of milk. So, I ran back into the house and retrieved her cup. As I got back in the van, I realized that I had forgotten the address for the GI doctor. It is at this point, that I should have called and canceled our appointment, but I didn't.

After running back in the house to get the address, we were on our way. We caught every red light, but I still managed to pull into the parking lot of the doctor's office at 2:25. I quickly got out and pulled the double stroller from the back. I plopped Porgie and Izzy into the stroller. As I approached the building, I seen a sign for the GI doctor's office pointing to the lower level. The only way to get to her office was to use the stairs. There is no way in hell I can safely get two kids and a doubler stroller down the stairs. I stood at the stairs, contemplating my next move.

Two men were painting the exterior of the office building. One of them offered to help carry the stroller down the stairs. I declined his offer, because how would I get the stroller and kids back up the stairs? So, I decided to put the stroller back in the van and just carry both kids down the stairs. After packing everything away and picking up both kids, this same man informs me that there is a parking lot on the lower level, which can be accessed through the Commerce Bank parking lot. Thanks a lot jerk. That information would have been really helpful 10 minutes ago.

With my arm throbbing, I carried both kids down two flights of stairs. We made it into the office, where Porgie proceeded to scream and hug my legs, while the receptionist gave me 4,782 forms to complete. At this point Izzy started screaming. So, I had Porgie whining at my knees and Izzy whining on my lap, while I am attempted to complete the paperwork. I have no idea what I wrote on those forms.

I handed the receptionist the forms, and she asked for my $40 co-pay. I pulled out my trusty bank card, when she informed me that they only accept cash or checks. WHAT THE FUCK? I thought everyone in the entire world accepted credit cards. Of course, I had no cash or checks on me. She informed me that I could go to the bank next door and get money from the ATM. This was a great plan, except I didn't have my stroller.

I put Izzy on my hip and grabbed Porgie's hand, and we headed across the parking lot to the bank. I got $40 from the ATM, and I grabbed Porgie's hand to leave. But she wanted to stay. So she screamed and cried, as I pulled her across the parking lot and back into the doctor's office.

After waiting for 15 more minutes, we were finally called back. The GI doctor walked in and instantly commented on Izzy's weight. She told me I needed to send him to "weight watchers," and I instantly disliked her. Why the fuck does everyone feel the need to tell me how fat he is?

After listening to his symptoms, she declared that he had allergic colitis. She went over the most common food culprits, but confessed that many breastfeeding mothers never discover which foods their babies are allergic to. She informed me that if he does not improve after eliminating dairy, soy, eggs, peanuts, and citrus, that I have two options - let him continue to suffer or switch to formula. Both of these options are unacceptable to me, but that is another post entirely.

She gave me instructions for taking a stool sample, and sent us on our way. I left the office, feeling sad and fearful and helpless.

A quickie

I called to schedule the appointment to see the GI doctor, and they had a cancellation for today at 2:30. Thank goodness. It was too late for John to request the day off, so I have to take both kids to the appointment. Porgie is terrified of doctors and usually screams her little head off. I am praying that she behaves during the appointment.

Thank you for all the advice. Mojavi, Karla, and Mama Kalila suggested that it might be a foremilk/hindmilk issue. However, Izzy has been nursing at one side per feeding for about 2 months now. He did this on his own, and I assumed it was because I had a large supply of breastmilk. So, I don't think it is a foremilk/hindmilk issue. But thank you for the advice.

I am off to get everything ready before nap time, because as soon as Porgie wakes up, we are going to have to rush to the appointment. I'll keep you guys updated.