Defeated and depleted

I couldn't believe it. This has never happened to me before. NEVER. My children don't need sleep...

There is actually a really long story that goes with this picture, but I'll shorten it for you. Izzy stayed up until 10pm, then got up at 6:30am (because he likes to torture me), and then refused his afternoon nap (once again, because he likes to torture me). I found him this way at 4pm, when he had completely run out of steam. The nap was short lived, and he was running around like a maniac by 5pm. But it was still sweet to find him unexpectedly conked out on the couch.

Eating lips

Porgie and Izzy had another 6 month dentist check-up/cleaning today. The good news is that everyone was well behaved. The bad news is that my baby girl had a cavity between her back molars. Apparently I am not flossing between her teeth often enough (okay, I have NEVER flossed between her teeth). Oddly enough, I was very disturbed by the cavity. Somehow, I felt like I had failed her. The dentist repeatedly assured me that is wasn't a big deal and that they could fill it right away.

Fifteen minutes later Porgie was all fixed up, and we were ready to leave ($180 poorer). The dentist told me to have Porgie chew on a piece of gauze, because children often bite on their lips when they're numb. We promptly left the office and drove to Target for a special treat for my brave little girl.

Although she kept the gauze in her mouth while we were picking out our treat, I noticed that the gauze was suddenly very pink. I took it out of her mouth, and I seen her gnawed up, bloody lip. I literally gasped in horror, which made Porgie cry. Despite chewing on the gauze, she had taken chucks of flesh out of her bottom lip. I hugged my baby girl tightly, and we headed home.

This afternoon Porgie's lip is causing her lots of pain. She alternates between whining and rolling around on the floor in misery. I feel so bad for her. Mommy fail # 3,445,678.

Freaking out

Our first class at the nature center was a bust. The teacher was awesome. We caught butterflies! We found caterpillars! We looked at butterfly eggs! But my daughter acted like she was completely insane. First, she cried and whined for a butterfly. After the teacher caught a butterfly and put it in her bug catcher, Porgie refused to carry it. Shortly after the tantrum about butterflies, Porgie started to freak the fuck out about every single bug she seen. If a fly landed on a tree 10 feet away from her, she let out a blood curdling scream and took off running. It was embarrassing and annoying. So, although the class was great, my child was not.

I am partly to blame for Porgie's insane attitude toward bugs. I tend to be a little over dramatic about bugs in our house - especially spiders. The worst part is that in mid-October, they will be studying spiders in her nature class. I think we might just skip that week, because I will be just as likely as Porgie (if not more) to be running around screaming like a maniac.

Boo boo

We drove to the beach. As soon as we got out of the car, my son tripped and fell in the parking lot. His face smacked against a piece of wood that trimmed a grassy knoll. For a split second, I thought he had knocked out his front teeth. So this nasty bruise around his eye seems minor in comparison.

My poor baby boy. He is the most accident prone kid ever. Fortunately, he is a tough little guy, who rarely complains.

Parenting Fail

I took the kids swimming at a lake yesterday. The morning started out overcast and decidedly gloomy. I didn't have any sunscreen, but I assumed that we would be fine. It looked like it was going to start raining any second, so I figured that we wouldn't be in the water for long.

Well, it never rained. We were having so much fun, that we ended up staying for a few hours. And I completely forgot about the sunscreen. When we got home, we all jumped in the shower together. I noticed that Izzy's back was a little red. After we got out, I rubbed him down with lotion and largely forgot about the "mild" sunburn.

Fast forward to bedtime. Oh my freaking god! My child has a horrible sunburn. His entire back is bright red. He cries when you touch his skin. I feel like the worst mother EVER. We are fair skinned people. I know better than to go swimming without sunscreen. Why didn't I stop at Target before heading to the lake? Today I am feeling incredibly guilty for my lackluster parenting skills.

I suck.

Recital Sneak Preview

Porgie's ballet recital costume arrived yesterday. She was ecstatic. When I tried the costume on her, she begged to wear it during class. When I refused, she cried. Fortunately the teacher was able to distract her, and I hightailed it out of the studio. After class, she wanted to wear her costume again. I agreed to let her wear it for a few minutes. She pranced around the house, twirling and jumping. Before eating dinner, I asked her to take the costume off. My baby girl was devastated...Porgie eventually agreed to take it off, but she insisted on wearing it to ballet class next week. I told her I would think about it, but that was a lie. She can't wear it to class next week. She is going to be so disappointed. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she forgets.
___________

Swagbucks is celebrating their 2nd Birthday! From what I've read, Swagbucks members will be receiving lots of rewards today. Personally, I am hoping to log-in and see at least 100 new Swagbucks in my account! (A girl can dream, right?)

If you haven't joined yet, you'll want to get started today. Since November, I have earn $85 in free Amazon gift cards just by using their search engine. I love free money!

Go here to get started earning today. If you join from this link, you'll automatically receive 3 Swag Bucks! 45 Swagbucks will earn you a $5 Amazon gift card, but there are hundreds of other gift cards and prizes to choose from!

Good luck! I hope you get paid handsomely today:)

What I didn't mention...

The entire week leading up to Christmas was miserable. John, Porgie, and Izzy all had a puking/diarrhea virus. NOT GOOD. I tried to pretend that everything was fine, because I wanted Christmas to be great this year. But things just kept getting worse and worse. On Christmas Eve, we ended up at the doctor's office. By that point, Porgie had been vomiting for four days. I was terrified that she was going to end up in the hospital with dehydration. The doctor seemed to be afraid of the same thing. He prescribed her an anti-nausea medication, which worked wonders to help her keep down liquids.

Although we got the puking under control, Porgie was a nightmare on Christmas day. She was being really mean and selfish. She wanted to play with all of her toys and all of Izzy's toy too. Whenever he picked up a toy, she would basically collapse into a pile of mush. Tears, snot, crying - the whole nine yards. It was soooooooo incredibly frustrating. I felt bad for her because I knew she was sick, but I couldn't let her ruin Izzy's Christmas too. So Porgie spent a large amount of her day in Time-out. She even had to go to bed early for being mean. Poor kid.

And when the day was finally over, John and I settled down on the couch to relax. It was very nice, until I heard a gagging sound. I ran back to Porgie's room and found her vomiting a fountain of mashed potatoes. It was everywhere - blankets, pillows, sheets, carpet, walls. FUCK! After I cleaned her up, she didn't settle down and fall asleep until after 11pm. No resting and relaxing for mommy and daddy.

So, Christmas was the exact opposite of everything I wanted it to be. But I did get an AWESOME gift. My husband is too good to me.

Complaining about kids

I know that they call it the "terrible twos," but honestly I did not expect my son to suddenly be such a pain in the ass. Izzy is proving to be a very difficult toddler. He can scream. I mean SCREAM. He wants to do everything by himself. And he screams if he can't accomplish the task independently. He doesn't like to nap anymore. And he screams for an hour everyday from 1pm to 2pm. EVERY DAMN DAY. He is obsessed with wearing Porgie's bathing suit from last summer. And when I try to dress him appropriately, he screams. I have been tempted on more than one occasion to just let him wear the fucking bathing suit to the grocery store (Of course, someone would call CPS on my ass. Can you imagine? A 2 year old little boy wearing a pink bathing suit outside in the middle of December.). And finally, he has gotten really bad about biting. Where in the hell did he learn this behavior? And more importantly, how do I stop it? Izzy is driving me insane. Everyday we face the same battles. He never seems to learn his lesson. Time-outs are useless. Yelling certainly doesn't work. And there is no redirecting his behavior - he is a stubborn little thing.

Now let me move on to Porgie. OH MY FREAKING GOD. The child has learned how to change her clothes - the whole nine yards: shoes, pants, socks, and shirts. She changes her clothes approximately 583 times per day. Every time I turn around, she is wearing a different outfit. This is one of the most annoying phases we have been though. I love that she can dress herself, but the laundry is overwhelming. I have a mountainous pile of laundry sitting in my basement right now. And even if I washed it all tonight, I would have another huge pile by tomorrow evening. She literally wears her entire wardrobe in the course of one day. It has gotten to the point where I have considered putting baby-locks on all of her drawers.

This post doesn't really have a point, so I am not really sure how to end it. I just wanted to let you know that I suck at this whole parenting thing. And my kids are annoying. The end.

The botox queen

After I finished putting away some laundry this morning, Porgie and Izzy ran off with the laundry baskets. They dragged them into the living room and climbed inside to play. I headed down to the basement to throw in another load of laundry. In the middle of loading the washing machine, I heard a blood curdling scream. I ran up the stairs and found Porgie covered in blood. I scooped her up and raced to the bathroom. A large amount of blood was coming from her mouth. Honestly, I thought that she had knocked her front teeth loose. After she calmed down, I examined her mouth. All of her teeth appeared to be fine - THANK GOD. It was her lip. Her front teeth gouged her upper lip pretty badly. As a result, Porgie now looks like the botox queen...When I asked her what happened, she told me that she fell out of the laundry basket and hit her face against the front door. My poor baby girl:(

The miracle cure

Remember when I said that I was going to the library on Monday? Well, I didn't actually get around to visiting the library until last night. All is right with the world, because they found the books that I had previously returned. What a relief!

When we got home, the kids wanted to play in the front yard. Izzy was running up and down the sidewalk, while Porgie begged me to read the library books. While reading a book about cows, I heard a loud thud. I looked up and seen my baby boy laying face down on the concrete. My heart was pounding ferociously as I raced to pick him up. He was trying to scream, but he was in so much pain that the sound was caught in his throat. He was writhing in my arms, as I carried him inside the house.

After calming Izzy down, I noticed that he was bleeding. My baby boy scraped up his forehead pretty bad...
Fortunately, there isn't much that band-aids and ice cream can't cure...

Cuddly baby or Evil demon?

I am strongly considering changing my son's nickname from Izzy to Demonboy. He is such a pain in the ass lately. He whines constantly. This is probably related to the fact that the child cannot speak, but seriously? Does he have to whine so much? Shit, just point to what you want, and I'll get it for you! Geez kid!

Also, he won't sit in his stroller anymore. This is just completely unacceptable. The kid runs around like a demented monkey when he isn't in his stroller. He breaks stuff and rips things off of store shelves and runs in the opposite direction of my voice. GAH!

And finally, he is starting to be physically aggressive too, which just sucks donkey balls. He takes most of his anger out on me, which is preferable to him hitting other kids, but it is still an unpleasant experience. Currently, he enjoys pulling my hair and pinching the skin on my neck. But this is the part that makes him a demon - he smiles and laughs when I wince with pain.

He looks so darn cuddly and cute, but trust me, he has earned the name Demonboy.

My kid is a nut case

Somebody has to be the bad guy. And today, I am the bad guy. If you remember, my daughter likes to puke. She makes herself vomit if she doesn't want to go to bed, if she doesn't want to eat dinner, if she is really pissed off about something, etc. It started last summer and has been a regular part of our lives for the past year. However the problem has greatly decreased over the past 6 or 7 months. Sometimes she'll go an entire month without forcing herself to vomit. This is AWESOME.

But the problem still exists. She still makes herself puke. And it still makes my blood boil. On Easter Sunday, Porgie made herself puke because she didn't want to eat lunch. She wanted to eat candy instead. I managed to remain fairly calm during her episode, but all of her candy was confiscated, and she was sent to bed early.

Fast forward to today. When lunch time rolled around, she told me she wanted soup. I prepared the lunch she had REQUESTED and put her in the highchair. After two bites, she asked to get down. I told her no, so she started gagging herself. Knowing that she was getting ready to vomit, I ran to the linen closet to get a towel. I tried to stay calm. Truly I did. But as she vomited onto her tray, I lost it. I SCREAMED at her. I screamed LOUD. But she seemed unfazed by my rage, so I made a brash decision. I took away her night-night (aka her most prized, beloved blanket).

She started crying. I told her that she could have night-night back after she woke up from her nap. She cried harder. I put her to bed. And she cried for the entire 2 hours. I felt like shit. Why did I take away her favorite thing in the whole wide world? I almost caved and gave her the damn blanket, but I didn't. I am hoping that she learned a valuable lesson today. I know I did.

Gnome Chomsky

My baby boy is sick. This is the worst cold he has ever had. His nose is runny, he is coughing, he has no appetite, and he is unbelievably fussy. Today has been spent trying to find ways to make Izzy happy. Nothing works. He is miserable. Therefore, I am miserable. Ugh.

And because my husband is a sadistic asshole, he is working late tonight. Sometimes, I want to punch John in his face. Selfish jerk. Why does it seem like my husband is the only one who is required to work late all the damn time?

Moving on to other topics, I have two little canker sores on the bottom side of my tongue. Oh my freaking god, I think I am going to die from the pain. It hurts to eat and drink. Sometimes, it even hurts to talk. And I LOVE talking, so this is completely unacceptable.

There has been a lot of complaining in this post. Let's end on a happy note. I bought a little gnome for our yard. He is adorable. See for yourself...

Sorry for the measles

I took Izzy to the doctor last week for his 15 month appointment. He received his MMR shot that day, and everything seemed normal. However, a few days later he developed a nasty rash. It started on his butt, so I originally thought it was diaper rash. The next day the rash had spread up his back. I thought that perhaps it was eczema, so I rubbed him down with lotion. The next day, the rash had spread to his shoulders and arms. And Izzy started itching. He scratched and scratched and scratched his little body. He scratched until he started bleeding.

Over the weekend, we alternated using lotion and hydrocortisone. The rash continued to grow, and Izzy continued to itch. After doing a little research on Google, I determined that Izzy was experiencing a reaction to his MMR shot. Armed with my information, I made an appointment to take him to the pediatrician.

The doctor quickly dismissed my MMR reaction theory. According to him, that rash is usually head to toe, and it isn't itchy. Instead, the doctor thought it was an allergic reaction to something in his environment. I find this hard to believe, because nothing has changed around here. We use the same soap, shampoo, lotion, detergent, etc. Anyways, the doctor prescribed my little guy a corticosteroid cream. We're on day three with the cream, and the rash doesn't look much better. Here are some pictures...


I know that this sounds crazy, but I keep thinking that I have intentionally infected my kid with measles. I felt so guilty that I went out and bought Izzy a new tool set...

Mommy is sorry for letting the doctor inject you with Measles, Mumps, and Rubella.

All we've got are grunts and giggles

I hate to write this post. I know that I am being a worry wart, but I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. Izzy isn't talking. AT ALL. The kid just has no interest in speaking. He says "ma ma" on a regular basis, but that is it. Also, he doesn't babble very often. To communicate, he simply points and grunts.

However, he has excellent receptive language skills. He knows tons of phrases and can respond in the appropriate way. He can accurately identify a couch, a table, a stove, a book, a door, etc. He can follow simple one step commands like "shut the door" or "put your milk on the table." He can shake his head yes or no to respond to a question. But he can't talk.

I think the thing that disturbs me most is that Porgie was saying a slew of words at 15 months. And reading your blogs doesn't help the situation either. When I read a post about your baby talking or see a video of your baby babbling, I get a little teary eyed. Why isn't my baby saying anything?

At Izzy's 15 month appointment, we discussed his problems at great length. The doctor informed me that boys talk later than girls and that second children also tend to talk later. He also discussed the possibility of Izzy having a hearing problem. But in the end, he recommended giving him a little more time. If my little guy doesn't make leaps and bounds in the next 6 months, he will be referred for an evaluation by Early Intervention Services.

The doctor also gave recommendations to encourage Izzy to talk...
1) Talk to him more (I talk to my children constantly!).
2) Read to him more (I read approximately 592 books per day!).
Thanks doctor! Your advice was so helpful!

I really need to stop thinking about this topic. And I definitely need to stop googling it.

Running on no sleep

I haven't been able to blog in days, but this morning I finally got around to reading about half of my blogroll. And I just realized that I was logged in under my family blog. I am sorry about the confusion. This is the 1,843rd time I have done this - Sorry! Please do not comment on the family blog.

In my defense, I haven't gotten a decent night's sleep since last Friday. All of a sudden, Izzy refused to nap. He was also resisting bedtime. Then he started waking every hour or two at night. And by Monday, he was staying awake for HOURS in the middle of the night. I knew something was wrong, so I took him to the doctor yesterday. As I expected, he has an ear infection.

Izzy was given a prescription for amoxicillin, which I took to Target. 15 minutes later, we were on our way home. When I opened the bottle, I noticed that it had a citrus smell. I looked at the labeling and realized that it had been flavored with Orange. Izzy is very sensitive to citrus fruits. I knew that I shouldn't have given him the medicine, but I was tired and he was fussy, so I did. And I lived to regret that decision. Izzy cried and screamed and spit-up for HOURS. He couldn't keep anything down. So, I had to call target and have them refill the prescription with a cherry flavor instead. So frustrating. I am kind of pissed that they just added citrus flavoring without even asking me. Tons of people have allergies to citrus fruits. It seems like they would have consulted me.

Anyways, things kind of suck ass right now. I know I haven't been commenting as frequently as usually, but I still love you bloggy bloggers.

My poor babe

We have had some bad lucky in our house lately. Last week, Porgie fell down our front steps. It happened so quickly - she was babbling on and on about her snacks, and she walked right off the first step without realizing it. She tumbled down the three steps and landed flat on her back. She scraped an elbow and a knee, but came away relatively unscathed. She only whimpered and whined for a few moments. Today we didn't get off quite as a easy.

Shortly after John got home from work, he went outside to talk to one of our neighbors. Izzy was happily scooting around the livingroom. He was lingering near the door, looking for daddy. When John began walking up the front steps, Izzy scooted toward the front door to meet him. As John opened the door, Izzy lunged forward. He did a face plant on the front stoop. I heard the sickening thud as his face slammed the concrete. And then I heard the screams. The blood curdling screams. My baby boy was frantic. It was so sad. I felt horrible for letting my little guy fall into harm's way.

After some rocking and hugging and kissing, Izzy calmed down. He has a bump on his forehead, a scrape on his temple, and a possible black eye. But despite his injuries, he was all smiles tonight...

I jinxed myself

See this butterfly nightlight... This little butterfly was supposed to save my sanity, restore peace and harmony in my household, and be a trusted companion for my wayward toddler.

After writing this post last week, I decided that perhaps Porgie's opposition to bedtime was stemming from a fear of the dark. So, I hunted around in my bedroom until I found the lovely butterfly nightlight pictured above. I plugged it in, and Porgie was captivated. I was certain that I had struck gold.

When we put Porgie to bed that night, she didn't cry or puke. It was a miracle. For the next 5 or 6 nights, Porgie went to bed without a fuss. But then I did something very foolish. I bragged. Yes, I bragged to Eva that I had fixed our bedtime problems. I think I even told her that I was a genius. Tsk tsk.

Porgie SCREAMED during bedtime last night. Porige PUKED during bedtime last night. I am not a genius. I am a jackass.

Lunch

Izzy is finally mobile, but he is not crawling. Instead, he is scooting on his little butt. He zips from one side of the room to the other on his little tushy. As a result, my fussy little guy has turned into a happy little man.

This morning I had some laundry to put away, so I carried Izzy back to the master bedroom so I could fold clothes. He was scooting all over the place, examining the various trinkets he found along the way. He was absolutely fascinated by a pair of house-shoes he found in the closet.

After about 5 minutes, I noticed that Izzy had stopped scooting and was sitting near a post at the bottom of the bed. He was being unusually quiet, so I walked over to see what he was up to. He was happily chomping away on something. Knowing that he did not have food, I stuck my finger in his mouth to retrieve the object. And I pulled out a spider. AHHHHHHH! A freaking spider! AHHHHHHHHHHH! It looked just like this...

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating. But it was a spider. And it was in my baby's mouth. AHHHHHHH!

It was terrifying.

Ambivalence

I am really feeling ambivalent about this whole growing up thing. I desperately want my children to grow and become more independent, while at the same time I want them to stay small and helpless. Can I have both please?

At Izzy's 9 month check up, I discovered that he weighed 25 pounds and was 29 1/2 inches long - the 95th percentile for both. I came home and checked the weight and length requirements on his infant carseat. I discovered that he had exceeded both requirements. We had to install his big kid carseat. It was definitely a bittersweet moment.

Although Izzy is definitely growing physically, he seems to be stuck in a newborn nursing pattern during the night. He has been waking 3 or 4 times per night for MONTHS. My boy is 9 months old, so what is up with that? I am totally baffled by babies who naturally start sleeping through the night. My children think sleeping through the night is for suckers.

And finally, I think my 9 month old has colic. Is that even possible? All of a sudden, Izzy has turned into a whiny little ball of mush. He cries all day long. Is it teething? Is it separation anxiety? Is it an ear infection? I have no idea.

It feels like we are in babyhood limbo right now - unable to decide if Izzy is a big kid or a tiny baby.