A while ago, I wrote about my cousin Bean's cancer scare. She was scheduled for surgery weeks ago, but the operation kept getting postponed due to her doctor's erratic schedule. Personally, I think her doctor is an incompetent prick. However, Bean insists that he is wonderful.
So after a long wait, the tumors were finally removed last Tuesday. The surgery was performed using laparoscopic technology. Three small incisions were made in her abdomen. Although Bean was incredibly sore after the operation, she was impressed by the tiny incisions. Unfortunately, we still do not know if the growths were cancerous.
I wish the story ended here, but it doesn't. During the surgery, her doctor noticed that her ovaries were intertwined with her bowels. This is the most likely source of her stomach pain. Although I do not know all the details, her doctor has decided that Bean needs to have a complete hysterectomy. She is going back in for surgery next Thursday.
I called Bean after the surgery, and she seemed to be in good spirits. We talked about lots of nonsense, while avoiding the seriousness of her situation. I haven't yet revealed my pregnancy to my family. I fear telling Bean more than anyone. Of course she'll act happy, but I am afraid that my pregnancy may be a little disturbing to her. In a way, I hate that I have to share my wonderful news with her. I feel like I am being a huge asshole.
you're not, of course. but yep, she'll certainly likely be hurt, through no fault of your own, by your news.
ReplyDeleteand her reaction, whatever it is, shouldn't be something you hold against her, or hold her to, even if it's positive and supportive. later, she may disconnect, if it hurts too much to face your luck and her own lack. or she may be your biggest cheerleader through this pregnancy...and be able to really find joy and hope in this new life along with you.
i think the important thing to remember is you can't control how she feels, and neither situation is your fault. i know that for me, that when i was unlucky in the hand i was dealt, and others had what i longed for, them owning their luck and the randomness of it and being willing to face my pain and say "i'm sorry, this hurts you, i feel like an asshole" allowed me to let go of my hurt and self-pity and genuinely rejoice for them. whereas others who were defensive and awkward and tried to pretend that everything was fine for all of us and talked in platitudes, i wanted to smack them. hard.
i hope Bean gets good news about the cancer. and i hope you will be able to be right there with her through this. :)
How scary. I'm so sorry. Best wishes to your family. I hope your cousin is well soon. That's some serious shit.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can see how it would be awkward about your pregnancy. But that will pass. Everyone is happy about a new baby. I know you will handle the situation gracefully.
I hope it all goes well for her. It'll sting when you tell her your pg but that will soon pass when the excitement of a new baby in the family kicks in.
ReplyDeleteCompletly off the subject but bean is Billy nick name we gave him when i was pg!
So sorry to hear about your cousin.
ReplyDeleteI've heard waaayyy too much about about cancer this month. in my own family and on the internet.
I'm sure she'll be happy for you, although it might hurt a bit at first.
I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. I hope this next surgery goes well for her and I can completely understand where it would be hard to tell her about the pregnancy, I hope it all goes okay.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling so sad for you cousin. How horrible for her.
ReplyDeleteI can't say it any better than bon did.
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