Dentally Retarded

As you know, I am in the process of having my teeth fixed. I haven't explained the extent of my problems, because honestly, I find the whole thing to be extremely embarrassing. All of my dental problems are genetic, so I don't know why I harbor so much shame, but I do. Today I am going to talk specifically about my problems (gulp).

Unfortunately, I am congenitally missing 5 adult teeth (It is a condition called Hypodontia). This basically means that 5 of my teeth never developed. As a result, I never lost 5 of my baby teeth. Since no adult teeth formed under these teeth, the baby teeth simply never fell out. The good news is that 4 of these teeth are toward the back of my mouth. Upon meeting me, you would never notice these teeth (they are my 2nd premolars). To remedy my dental problems, I need to have my retained baby teeth pulled (I had 4 of the teeth removed last month), wear braces for two years, and replace my missing teeth with dental implants. I may also need veneers to widen my lateral incisors.

When I met with my oral surgeon, he suggested that I might have a mild form of an ectodermal disorder. Basically, these disorders develop before birth and result in the abnormal development of the skin, hair, nails, teeth, and sweat glands. In my case, only my teeth were affected, which makes me incredibly lucky (I guess). The dentist assured me that he has seen much worse. He even mentioned having to fit 9 year-olds for dentures. He also told me that many of these people have little or no hair, and they can't sweat. So no matter how sorry I feel for myself, I keep reminding myself that it could have been much worse.

So there you go. Now you know about my horrible, shameful secret. I am dentally retarded.